So now that we've covered the basic vices of your introduction to college, allow me to introduce you to the omnipotent forces that make the college world go round; that surrounds us, penetrates and binds the galaxy together and I'm not referring to Force. I am referring to none other than the universal currency of pizza, porn and beer. While you will not find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy than college, ancient sayings and hokey Star Wars references are no match for a good PBR at your side while munching on pizza and watching Debbie Does Dallas. These ARE the elements of college like fire and gasoline or pure calcium in water, just waiting to go off for four years of non-stop hilarity. These can be obtained literally free of charge and have their own respected black markets. One cannot survive college without having some form of interactions involving the three elements of college so mastering the usage of the three elements is critical to anyone's college career.
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